A New Way To Vote

I had a dream once where I personally got to change the way everyone votes. I honestly think it's a genius idea, I know it will never happen but I though I'd share.

Instead of the two parties each choosing 1 candidate, I had the two parties choose two candidates.
Then when you went to the poll booth instead of picking the name of the person you'd like to be president, you were asked questions.

For example Question 1 would be something like "Do you think that gay marriage should be legal in the United States?" and the answer options would reflect each candidates stance. Answers might say something like 1- Yes 2- No 3- I do not support gay marriage but I do think civil unions or another form of commitment that is not called marriage should be put into place. Then each question would have the answer options of "I do not know or I do not have an opinion on this topic" and "I do not support any of these ideas".

That sample question is pretty simple, but other questions would reflect not just social issues but things like "Which of these ideas for the Countries Budget do you like best?" and "which of these foreign affairs policies would you most like to see come into play?"

The reason I am such a fan of this is because then people aren't voting based on skin color, gender, or social issues alone. They are instead putting in which of the policies and ideas they support and then at the end they can be given an option between candidates names. Each time you click on a candidates policy they are given a "point". Whoever has the most points represents the most ideas that Americans as a whole have instead a few hot button ones.

Just an idea.

ALS - What it is

This is just a little bit of research I did about ALS. I looked at few different sites and composed a "simpler version" of what I learned.

ALS stands for Amyotrophic Lateral Scelerosis and is often refereed to as Lou Gehrig's Disease. I had heard of Lou Gehrig's Disease before but through this research I found out why ALS is called Lou Gehrigs Disease. It is because a baseball hall-of-famer for the Yankees was diagnoised with ALS and gave it a lot of media attention in 1868. Throughout the world people call ALS different things, but it is nmost commonly ALS or MND (motor neuron disease) 

This disease effects the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord.  When the motor neurons die the ability for the brain to imitate and control muscle movement is lost. As the nerves in the spine and brain die, it leaves physical scarring or hardening in its wake (sclerosis).  ALS often leads to death. 

Early signs of ALS include weakening of muscles, especially in the arms, legs and those concerning speech, swallowing and breathing. As these muscles stop receiving "orders" they become weaker and begin "atrophy" (getting smaller). This causes limbs to being to look thinner. 

Although there are several neurons in the brain and spine, the ones effected by ALS are the ones responsible for voluntary movements and muscle power. Although our heart and digestive systems are all muscles, because they are involuntary (or happen automatically) ALS does not usually effect those. Although while breathing seems involuntary it is usually effected by ALS. Event hose with advanced ALS can still feel, see, smell, and hear even if they aren't very responsive.

The cause of ALS has not been found. It doesn't seem genetic or to come from any sort of chemical or any kind of exposure, although studies are still being done to find the cause. There is no cure for ALS currently. There is however medication that those with ALS can take to slow the symptoms and progression of the disease. 

I love the ice bucket challenge. It is raising awareness, and several people who do it still donate money. The ALS Association has raised a lot of money these last few months beaucae of the ice bucket challenge, and I think that is great! I also love that my friend and family are doing something silly and putting it on facebook that Lady Gaga, Gwen Stephanie and George W Bush are all doing too! I think it is kind of uniting us in a way. Whether or not you do the Ice Bucket challenge I recommend you learn about ALS and donate if you can. 

ALS Association - Donate Here! 

ALS Association - What is ALS
Kids Health - Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS)

Utopia Internet in Springville

This is a local issue I have heard a lot about, and I just wanted to address it for those of you who live near in a place I could link others too. Utopia is a premium internet provider that is currently trying to move into Springville. A lot of people are having concerns with this, and I'd like to address the most common concerns I have heard.

1- We are helping Australia's economy not our own
Even though Utopia is based in Austraila, the company owns several buildings in the US, and they have to pay several types of taxes in order to operate here. If we take the stance that we shouldn't support any company not based in America then throw out all of your Toyota's, Legos and most of your chockies. Allowing other countries to build and import services and products in the U.S. is helpful for our econmy here, and the world's.

2- Our city taxes will rise an estimated $240 a year whether you want Utopia or not
Your taxes will not rise, your city utilities will. Springville's utilities are all city owned. They would make Utopia's internet a part of your utilities and everyone would have Utopia for $20 a  month, instead o fhaving to pay for someone else.

3- Utopia's enforcers will shut off your water if you don't pay for their service
This misconception I believe comes form a very slanderous mailer that was sent to everyone in the city. As I said before, Utopia will become a part of your utilities. If you do not pay your utility bill your water gets shut off whether or not this passes.


Here is a few reasons why you should support Utopia coming to Springville

1- Competition
Right now it costs a ton less to get Comcast in Provo vs. Springville. Why? Because living in Provo automatically includes free Google Fiber (which isn't as good as Utopia). Comcast had to lower their prices in order to keep their customers and to attract new ones. That would be the case here. Instead of paying $75 a month for Comcast internet you should be able spend about $40. If you add the $20 a month you will be paying for your utilities it goes up to $60 a month, which is still less than the $75 you are paying now.

2- Utopia is Amazing
Have you guys ever used utopia? Currently my husband and I are planning on moving to Orem and %75 of the reason is that they have Utopia there. It is the best internet provider in America currently, hands down.

3- Makes Springville a more Valuable Place to Live
Having a premium internet service included in your utilities every month for only $20 is AMAZING! It may or may not attract people to Springville, but it could most definitely be a deal breaker to a couple who is buying their first home. If they live in Spanish Fork instead they'd have to spend $75+ a month to get internet, while in Springville it's only $20 and it's high quality!

In the end I am in favor of this choice. Please support by emailing our Springville City Officials. You don't have to give a long explanation, just say "I am in support of Springville getting Utopia" Follow this link to go to Springville City's contact page for all of our city officials.

Why People Need to Stop Being "Proud" of Me

I have never been one to seek validation through other's approval. With the exception of my mother, I have never cared who liked me or was proud of me. But lately (in the last year) I have heard several people tell me they are "proud" of me, and it is a little frustrating to be honest. I know none of these people intend it to be rude, and it's not really, it's just so... misguided.

I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself because at a very young age I was curious about religion. I worked hard to study other religions and find sources written by active and faithful members of those religions to learn from.

I am proud of myself for finding God. I developed a relationship with God through the Nature Based Wiccan sect at 16! That relationship grew ever stronger at 18 when I moved out of my parents house. He is still the same man I know and love today. 

I am proud of myself for working hard throughout high school. Sure, I didn't get the best grades, but I worked (and played) hard. I put myself out there and fought for what I believed in. I stood up for myself and others.

I am proud of myself for having a job at a young age. When I was 12 I was consistently babysitting, and at 14 I got a snow cone shack gig. When I was 15 I got a job at Taco Time, and while it wasn't the best job in the world I continued at fast food and higher end restaurants until I got married. My senior year of high school I didn't participate in any plays because I was working. I missed choir tours and concerts, drama events and more because I was working hard outside of school to save for college. 

I am proud of myself for finishing high school early. Granted, I still walked and everything, but my senior year of high school I only had one class every other day and that was it! The rest of my time was spent going to cosmetology school. 

I am proud of myself for moving out of my parent's house when I was 18. I lived a few blocks from school and work. I got myself everywhere by walking or taking the bus. I paid my own rent, food, clothing, utilities, and more. I budgeted my money and my time wisely and worked hard to be responsible while working full time and going to school part time. 

I am proud of myself for furthering my education. I went to cosmetology school, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I almost quit three times! But I stuck it out and I am so glad I did! 

I am proud of myself for paying for my own education. I don't think that there is anything wrong with parent's helping their children pay for college, but mine were not able to. I saved up my own hard earned money for years to pay for tuition ($17,500) at a nice school, all by myself. 

These are all things I am proud of myself for. I feel I have grown a lot and worked really hard in my life. There are so many reasons for me to be proud of myself! So why does it bother me so much that all these people are all of the sudden proud of me? It's the why that bothers me. 

In the last year and half I have converted to being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (aka Mormon). My family is all LDS and we live in Utah. Most of the adults that knew me as a child thought (and still think) that I was incredibly rebellious, which was true in a sense. But I usually didn't do things just because other people told me not to do them. I did things because I was exploring culture, nature, religion, thought, politics, myself. I was exploring the world. I wanted to know why things happened or what the effect would be, not listen to people who had never done those things tell me not to do them because... I lived for me.

Most people think that my whole life I have always known that the LDS church is true, and I just liked to say I was Wiccan because it was weird, different, freaked people out, ect.  Others think that I just lived my life in a Godless manner that made it impossible to hear Him tell me it is true. They now believe that I have grown up and realized that my rebel phase was silly and put it aside so I could live in the truth I have always known, and they are proud of me for coming to that point and growing up. They are wrong.

I am further from God today than I have been in 4 years. 2 years ago, as a Wiccan, I prayed obsessively. I felt Him and communicated with Him every day. I studied and learned and lived. Now I go to work and home and I hardly ever go outside. I pray once a week, I go to a church twice a month (and rarely do I attend sacrament meeting). I read my scriptures hardly ever. I used to be on my own in a sense. Most people didn't understand me, my parents didn't accept me, and I was alone. I needed God. I didn't have anyone else who would listen to my problems and make me feel better. Now my family is closer to me and more open to my thoughts, and my wonderful husband is there to comfort me and listen to my problems, and my loving and patient Heavenly Father has fallen through the cracks. But still people are "proud" of my dwindling relationship with God because I am "Mormon". And I think it's sad.

I think it's sad that people don't realize that the LDS church is just another venue to get to know God. True, I think it is the most whole and correct religion on Earth, but I know that God put me here because it's what I need to complete my journey. He put me in the Wiccan sect too. He also showed me the Springville Presbyterian church. He has introduced me to incredible places, religions, groups and people to help me come closer to Him. The religion that He connects with me through is not something that people should be proud of me for. Be proud that I have a connection and relationship with Him, but not because it's through the same avenue you do. People think that I have finally accepted the truth. But I have always accepted the truth and I actively seek it. My truth is not your truth. My journey is not your journey. It's okay.

Final Words♥ learn to respect other people's journeys

Men and Women

Men and women are different. I think it is pretty obvious that God made us to compliment each other. It says in the Bible that God made Adam a "help meet". If you do research on the what it actually means to be a help meet, it doesn't mean someone to do the less important chores that the man can't be bothered with. It means to rescue, to save, to be strong, to support, and to encourage someone. Without a help meet (Eve) Adam could have done nothing. 

Women and men have differences that extends beyond their body parts. Men have tendencies to do things most women do not. Women also have tendencies to do and feel things men do not. Men tend to be more logical and primitive. Women tend to be more nurturing, emotional and complex. Women tend to be better at critical thinking than men, but men tend to be more decisive and less afraid to make "big moves" than women. Now by saying this I am not saying "because women are usually less decisive, women should not be decisive and if you are you need to 'fix' that". I am saying that these differences are very common, and while not everyone has the tendencies or habits that go along with their gender role, most people do.

Feminists say that there are more male CEOs than female, and that is true. But I personally do not believe it is because women are afraid to get jobs or grow up believing they can't. I think it is because the average CEO is 48 years old, and they have been working at their companies for more than a few years. If you'd like to become a CEO you either have to dedicate your life to a company, or start your own. But when a man and a woman have children, most of the time the woman stays at home to take care of her child. And I think that is awesome. I truly believe there is nothing more important than the work of a stay at home parent, to raise and influence the next generation. I do not believe that this happens because the women are told they can't make it in the work force but because most women have the tendency to nurture, and choose to work in the home.

I am not saying there is no gender inequality, but I do think there is less than what people would like to believe. I also believe that a lot of the inequality is driven by women, not men. Women are hyper sexualized in the media, but what are men? Women are made to look like objects of lust while men look like bumbling idiots. Seriously, I can think of more TV shows that feature strong female characters than male ones. All of the ones I have seen recently make the men look like pigs, slobs, horn dogs, and over all idiots. I can literally think of one show with one male lead (of the three male leads it has) that doesn't look like a total buffoon. I can however list several with strong female leads (the closer/major crimes, the good wife, raising hope, pretty little liars, once upon a time, new girl, suburgatory, ect). 

On top of that if we'd like advertising like this to stop:

We need to stop buying things like this, and stop making the beaches look like this: 

People complain all of the time that Victoria Secret makes underwear to sexual and objectifies women, but we still shop there don't we? (I don't because I don't have $80 for a bra, but you know what I mean)

Attacking the stay at home mother is not the way to create equality. Bringing down men is not the way to create equality. The way to create equality is to do whatever your heart and mind wants to do. If you have to work harder than you think a man would to prove you can do his job, then work harder. If you have to do extra to get the same amount of appreciation as someone else, then do more. Work hard every single day. Be an example to others that we can do things, and make a difference.

Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world" He didn't say burn your bra and tell men to screw themselves. I would like to see a world where people mind their own business. I'd like to see world where if a majority of women want to stay at home and raise children they can. I'd like to see a world where someone can believe in Jesus Christ and God the Father without being called idealistic children. I'd like to see a world where you can be a proud of yourself regardless of race or gender.  

So mind your own business. Believe what you'd like, support who you'd like, love who you'd like, be whoever you'd like to be (as long as it hurts no one and is a law abiding citizen) and leave other people alone! I am proud of myself, not because I am a white Christian woman, but because I have overcome trials that people of all ages, genders and races endure, and I came out on top. 

The way to really make a difference is to stop victimizing yourself for being a minority. We are ALL minorities. I am a woman, I am Christian, I am a republican. I work hard for everything I have. Just because you are a white straight male doesn't mean you don't work hard to earn what you have. We all have trials and things that work against us. We all endure being judged and harassed. If you didn't get the job instead of deciding the man interviewing you is a sexist pig, consider that there may have been a better qualified applicant, or that you just weren't what they were looking for. Make a difference by using words that uplift, encourage and support people! I love this campaign (commercial below) but I do feel that many men are also spoken to and put down with demeaning words. 

In conclusion I am standing by my opinion that men and women were created equally, but different. The work done inside the home is super important and just as important as that done in the work force. Women need to celebrate the things that make them different from men instead of bemoaning them. I believe that because women are constantly complaining about what men have that they don't, they are putting down and demeaning what they have that men don't. I believe that with hard work and faith we can do anything. But supporting each other in doing whatever it is we do is important, whether you'd like to do it or see it as merit worthy or not. 

RESOURCES:

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The Real Meaning of the Term "Help Meet" 

Do Men Really Make More Money Than Women?
No, Women don't make less money than Men
Ban Bossy Campaign 

Women

I have been thinking a lot lately about all of the women who have inspired me. I have had the good fortune of meeting some really awesome people! I have met a lot of really great mothers who have taught me so much about myself and about life. I guess I just wanted to thank them, and share a little about what I have learned from these amazing women, especially since Mother's Day is coming soon!


1- My Big Sister JoAnn

My sister JoAnn and I are so different and similar at the same time that it gives me headaches thinking about it. I love to relax and unwind, I don't care about what I eat at all and I love tv. JoAnn on the other hand watches what she eats, never watches tv (just the occasional family movie night) and she loves to stay busy and be productive even if it drives her crazy sometimes. I think she is an amazing wife and mother but I am certain that when I have kids things will be so different.

Now with that being said, I think she is an absolutely amazing mom. She works harder every day than I have in my entire life. Her four boys are smarter than any other kids I have ever met at their age. I also love how when you talk to them they are close to each other, they love each other, they are excited to grow up, and they know that their parents love them so much. I can not say that about most of the kids I know these days.

What I admire the most about my big sister is she is not afraid to be wrong. I feel like people now a days have to be right all the time. Especially in my family, we all (myself included) have this thing where we are always on the defense. We are constantly defending ourselves even when no one is disagreeing with us. If someone brings up a hard cold fact that disputes an opinion or a guess, instead of taking it in we go into denial mode. I am working hard to move away from that, although I slip right back into it all the time. Somehow JoAnn has managed to rise above that. She doesn't have the attitude that she can do no wrong. She tries to outwardly express her emotions and say sorry for her mistakes. She doesn't see apologizing to her 8 year old for yelling at him as a weakness, and it's not.

A really long time ago my sister told me that she never wanted to be the type of parent who couldn't apologize to her kids. And she's not. She has shown me something very important. The world seems to think apologizing is a weakness, but it's not. Apologizing is a massive strength. It strengthens families, friendships and relationships. It strengthens homes and marriages. It rebuilds broken bridges. How can something that provides so much strength be a weakness? It just simply isn't.


2- My Ex Boyfriend's Mother Mandy

Mandy is awesome. I dated this guy in high school for like 2 seconds and even though I haven't had any communication with him in years his mom came to my wedding. Mandy taught me something that I love, which is that you don't have to slow down.

This woman runs marathons, works, and is a great mother to boot! I got to know both of her kids pretty well and they are both fantastic. She has this light and energy that just emits from her and her smile. When you walk into her home you can feel the laughter. I love that! I have felt peace and love in homes before, but I sure hope that my home is one that you can feel laughter in. She has always been nonjudgmental, open and accepting and just an overall great example in my life.


3- My Mother in Law Jean

I don't even know where to begin with this woman. Her whole life story is seriously an inspiration. I always said I wanted to marry a guy who loves, respects, and has a good relationship with his mother, and boy did I ever. When Matt and I got engaged I was intimidated by the amount of respect and love he had for his mother. I felt like I could never live up to her! Her cooking, her work ethic, her humility and ability to just love and keep loving no matter what. I really look up to my mother in law.

Like I said I don't even know where to being with her. I guess the number one thing that I admire most about my mother in law is how much she loves and cherishes her family. She is so proud of her 4 boys. She worked so hard to raise them and teach them, she home schooled them while working a million jobs. She moved them out to Utah so they could have their father in their lives. This woman would do anything for family. I love that.

The first time I ever entered my mother in laws home was something I will never forget. The air wraps you in a warm hug. Everything there smelled like love and tasted like peace. I spent most of my time there wondering how she got everything to feel like this. When we left I told Matt that my life's mission is to make our home feel at least something like that.

One of my favorite things about my mother in law is how graceful she is. She always says that she "earned" every single one of her gray hairs. I love that! She is absolutely stunning. The first time I met her Matt and I had only known each other for not even 2 weeks. It was awkward for me because he didn't tell me she was coming over, we were just watching netflix and he said "Oh yeah and my mom is coming over any time now." Needless to say I was annoyed by my lack of preparedness. When we she left I spent some time thinking about how beautiful she was. I hope that I can age even a little bit as gracefully as she has. She just gets that aging is normal, and doesn't fight it. I know so many women who are 50+ years old and they dress like they are 16, and it kind of drives me crazy! But not Jean. I am sure a lot of her current wisdom and grace has to do with those things that just "come with age". Either way I love my mother in law, and her priorities in life are an inspiration to me every day.


4- My Best Friend's Grandmother Darrellyn

I believe that this woman embodies Christ like love. I am going to start by saying that I have known my best friend (and her grandmother) since 7th grade. During jr high and high school I took a spiritual journey in my life and I wasn't a picture perfect influence. Darrellyn put up with me anyways. I never felt like she liked me a whole lot when I was a kid (although that could have been my own musings and insecurities coming out), but she knew my friend and I were close, so she put up with me, which was a lot to ask. But all the while I have always admired her and I have learned so much from this woman.

Christ doesn't give up on us. When the beggar and the sinner came to his door, Christ let them in. Christ opened His arms to those others would have shut out. Darrellyn does the same for her children. We can't control what our kids do when they grow up. I believe that the reason Darrellyn has the children that she does (all of them are adults now of course) is because they need her to love them. They need her to open her arms and welcome them in even when others would shut them out. And even though it is hard, she does. This woman has changed the way that I look at parenting and love.


I am so lucky to have these four amazing women in my life and to know all of them. I am so glad God gave me such great examples and influences to teach me the true meaning of love, laughter and beauty.

I Knew Things Would Work Out!

A few days ago I posted a status on Facebook that said "When things fall apart I have to cry a little, talk to my husband, breathe in and out, and trust in the Lord. Things will work out. Things will work out. Things will work out." And they have! But this status provoked many people to ask me what's going on, so here it is in a blog post!

March 17th I got a job at a salon in Provo. It was kind of a weird situation though. There was a woman whose father in law gave her a salon for Christmas. After choosing all of the furniture and having it built she decide she didn't want it anymore because it would take away to much time from her family (which I respect). Then a woman (I am going to use a fake name here, because I don't want to do any bashing) we'll call her Megan, bought the salon (after it had been vacant for 9 months). Megan and I happened to go to school together. She hired me as the only commission stylist in the salon with a plan to hire several other booth renters. 

We decided that since the salon had been closed (but looked open) for so many months it was important for people to know we were open now! We wanted to make sure someone was there from 10-5 every day and that the windows and blinds were open so people could see a change. While the name of the salon was changing we hadn't gotten a new sign yet, and we didn't have any "Open Now" or "Walk-ins Welcome" signs either, so I figured it would be really slow for the first few months. 

After the first 3 days Megan stopped coming to work when I was there. She did come in to take clients and what not, but she had a lot going on in her personal life that prevented her form being at the salon all of the time. I was kind of frustrated that I was sitting in her salon all day cleaning and doing all of the busy work, and she was gone. There was so much that needed to get done there that I couldn't do without her. But I still came, almost every single day. Then after two weeks Megan would randomly call or text me and tell me to go home early or not come in that day because she was going to be there the whole time with her kids or husband and it would be crazy but that she was going to be getting a lot of stuff done. The weird thing is when I went in there were never any changes to the salon. I had also made connections with several bridal shops, wedding rental places and a few venues to hand out our cards to their customers. I was waiting on Megan to get the cards (because she wanted them to be our salon's cards with my name on them, not the other way around.) But she simply wasn't working with me. She kept saying "they'll be here tomorrow" or "I am getting all of the printed stuff and the signs Tuesday". But they never came.

Last Thursday on the 17th after I left work Megan called me to tell me she had sold the salon. All of the sudden it made sense. It made sense to me  that she was showing the salon to the buyer and such all of those times she didn't want me there. She wasn't getting the printed things in (we also had no service menus) because she wasn't getting them! She then told me she was selling the space to someone she knew, who wanted booth renters only. She told me that if I was interested in booth renting (which I can not afford) I could stay, other wise I'd need to go somewhere else. I said okay, got off the phone, and began to cry. I really trusted her, and I felt she had lied to me, if by nothing less than omission. I also passed up 2 job offers and 2 interviews for this job. 

After crying for what seemed like forever, I got onto Craigslist (where I seem to find all of the best things in my life) and I found a listing for a new Salon in Orem. I applied and the next day I had a reply email from the manager asking for an interview. I interviewed on Monday and today (Wednesday) I got the job! This salon is in a better location, it is bigger, it has better hours and a more steady staff, and the owner is there every single day, she never misses 2 days in a row! It is still under renovation, and I am excited to watch it grow from a 3 chair salon to a 7 chair salon with a nail salon in the back! We are currently taking clients, but there will be more to come on that next week!

I am also going to add that Megan is a great person! She has been dealing with a lot and I know that when she purchased the salon she had every intention of pouring her heart and soul into it. Was I upset? Yes. Was I hurt? Absolutely. But I know that Megan is a great person with a lot of talent. This post was not meant to bash on her (as I said earlier) but to explain why I have been so upset lately to my friends. I will post all about the new place after I start Monday, but for now I need to focus on my big event Saturday! Click HERE to find out more about that event and how you can win free products just by going to the mall! 

The top 5 reasons that the blog post "Top 5 Reasons That Letter from Public Affairs Broke My Heart" breaks my heart

The reason I am writing this blog post is because I have seen a few people share it on facebook with their own rebuttals, and a few shared it with their own praises, and because I got on facebook today and had 3 inbox messages with a link to it asking me how I feel about it. This is a topic I feel strongly about. I have posted about it several times on my facebook, and on others as well. Knowing that this is a passion inducing hot button issue I am going to start this post off with my favorite political disclaimer!



Fist of all, if you are going to read this post you have to educate yourself first. I will not be the person who encourages ignorance to the other side. Read the other side's thought, opinions, and ideas. They have some good points, points I disagree with for the most part, but they are valid. So before you read another word on my blog read these two sources:

First read the letter from the church, you have to know what these words say before you hear anyone's side or opinion, you need to form your own:
Church Asks Activist Group to Reconsider Plans to Protest at General Conference


The article I am responding to, which you have to read in order to understand what I am about to say. No but seriously read it, it's not that long:
Top 5 Reasons That Letter from Public Affairs Broke My Heart by Prudy Polly

If you read the blog post I am responding to (which if you didn't, seriously read it) you will see that Prudy Polly (no I am not being rude, that is her screen name) has numbered each of her concerns, to list 5. I am not going to restate her article, I am going to go through each point she makes and write my response to that point. If you did not read her article this won't make a ton of sense. I am also putting a disclaimer here that I am directly responding to what she said, not to every thought of every OW woman on the face of the planet.

Now that you are properly informed we can get this show on the road!

1- We can Make Room for Everyone
I do not think it is fair to say that just because you aren't getting your way means there is no room for you in this group. She uses several comparisons to toddlers in her article so I will do the same. When we are children we experience many times when we want something. We either want a change in rules, or scenery, or an item and it doesn't make sense to us why we cannot have that change. I recall feeling like my parents were dictators and evil. I cried at night wondering why all the injustice or "why don't they love me?". It's funny how now that I am older I see that the things I wanted were either silly, unimportant, or just not good for me, but I did not understand that at the time. No, I do not think the priesthood or women's ordination are silly or unimportant. I also do not think women's ordination is an evil or "bad" thing to believe in. I do believe however that we need to trust our leaders, and they have said "It isn't a part of God's plan." So I just figure that whatever I am told isn't a part of God's plan, but doesn't make sense to me or doesn't seem "fair", I will understand it when I am in the next life (or "older").

I would also like to point out in the scriptures when Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son. that was not fair at all. I can only imagine how upset Abraham must have been. But did he argue about the injustice of what God was asking him to do? No. He said "okay, someday I guess I will understand." I think that is a great example of how we need to look at the policies and sacrifices we are asked to make in church. Most people say this story relates to tithing, but I think we sacrifice more than money to the church. We sacrifice time, talents, energy, and food (fasting). I have personally sacrificed friends, status, respect from others, my pride, political opinions, the will to get more tattoos and tank tops. I don't understand why I had to make a lot of those sacrifices, but that is where faith comes in.

Overall I think just because you, personally aren't in the room with the prophet hashing out women's ordination, doesn't mean people (including women) haven't had (and aren't continuing to have) productive conversations on this topic. There may even be people who agree with you and want women to be ordained. But you shouldn't decide you are being excluded from a group just because you aren't getting what you want. The church has put out several statements and given talks on women's ordination, it seems those would all be products of conversations about it. But this woman seems intent on the idea that if they aren't broadcasting the conversation or giving her her way then the conversation simply isn't happening. Just because I didn't get the curfew that I wanted in high school (or really anything that I wanted in high school) doesn't mean that my parents didn't talk about it when I wasn't around. It also doesn't mean that there was no place in their home or family for me.


2- We Don't Belittle
I think her point on this is a little bit of a stretch. The church states that the men have a special session about the duties and responsibilities of being a man and holding the priesthood just for them. Then they say that we have the same thing, it's just for women and is all about the duties and responsibilities of being a woman. I think it is just as sexist to decide that whatever is going on in the men's session is better than the women's. 

Also the point Prudy Polly makes here is that she feels belittled because the church uses a tactic that she uses on her toddler. So my first question is a little off topic. If this behavior is belittling what makes it okay to do it to a toddler? They are at a very impressionable age and what you do to them between the ages of 2 and 5 have a massive amount of effect on the rest of their lives and more importantly their self esteem. So unless you want your child to grow up feeling unimportant or diminished, I suggest you cut out the behavior you describe here as belittling. 

Now for the more relevant question. Is this comparison of "tactics" actually pertinent? I do not think so. I think it is important to acknowledge the desires of the person you are speaking to every single time when you do not agree with them. But I also do not think the church says "I understand you want to attend the priesthood session, oh look! Women's conference!" They do however say "we acknowledge your desire to attend the priesthood session, however it is designed for men only. But we do have a women's session over here which is designed for you." They don't acknowledge and misdirect with a distraction as Prudy is suggesting. They acknowledge your desire, explain why they can not allow you to do what you'd like, and then give you another option. That is a great way to handle a situation, even with your toddler. 

3- Labels Hide People
The last  priesthood session protest session was pretty tame, but this session will not be. I know several OW women who are respectful and plan on singing hymns and being reverent outside of the conference center, but I also know several who do not think that is getting their cause enough attention and are preparing signs for picketing. The church's response was to many letters (there are facebook groups and articles about this as well) saying that the women would either get their priesthood session tickets, or they would be picketing and shouting in protest of their "rights" in this church. On top of that when you are trying to be in a spiritual environment negative energy is not appreciated. Women who are angry that they can't get a seat in the priesthood session and are standing outside the doors for 2 hours in the cold (even if they are quiet) are doing it in protest so others will see them and feel their energy. That detracts from the spirit. I see nothing wrong with the church asking you to take that energy somewhere else.

If it is the case that you are just a bunch of "faithful women requesting tickets" or "reverent women asking for a seat at the table" then when your request is denied you should leave right? If your child asks for a cookie once and you say no it is no big deal. But if your child then repetitively asks you over and over again for a cookie or sits in the kitchen and refuses to leave until you give him a cookie, it becomes an issue. Your child is being very rude and disrespectful. The church didn't say you were all bra-burning anti-Christians. They said there is a place across from Temple grounds that is appropriate for protesting and that they'd appreciate it if you recognized and respected the sacredness of temple square and conference as a time and place to worship, not protest.

Think about the time in the scriptures when Jesus went to the temple and found that people were using it to conduct business. Now I'd like point out that the businesses that were there were temple related. There were people selling pure white doves and lambs for others to sacrifice in the temple. There was nothing evil about their business, and they probably didn't have bad intentions, but temple grounds are not meant to be used for anything other than sacred worship and conduct. Well Jesus wasn't all to happy to see these vendors so he threw the tables over and yelled at them and chased them away. Protesting is not sacred worship or conduct. I do not believe the Lord thinks (and I certainly don't think) you are bad people or evil because of your desires to hold the priesthood, but He has made it clear that using temple grounds for anything other than worship and sacred activities is not appropriate or respectful.


4- We Don't Follow the Crowd
Jessica Moody doesn't just say in this letter that the majority of women don't care if the women are ordained. She says that a majority think it is extreme, and don't want it. Why in the world would an institution implement something that would make a majority of its members feel uncomfortable because a small handful wants it? That seems wrong to me.

I know many activists think it’s the ones who want it vs. the ones who don't care, but it's not. I do not want it. The priesthood comes with a lot of responsibility that I don't want. There is a lot of wonderful things that come from the priesthood, but there are massive burdens that I have witnessed first hand placed on someone for holding it. I know that not all women have the same nature and tendencies as most, but once again a large institution such as this should not make a major change that effects every single member if it is going to make a majority feel uncomfortable just to appease a small group.

Now with that being said I also do not believe it should make a decision just because most of the people want it. But I believe their statement in regards to the amount of people who do not want this was to be a rebuttal for all of the women saying "we all want it, why won't you give it to us?" which I have personally heard several times, and I can not imagine that the leadership of this church has not heard it as well. 


5- It's More Important to be Nice
In this section Prudy Polly writes:

That isn't what the letter said. It said that all of the protests and tantrums are what detracts from the helpful discussions being had. Writing a letter to the prophet, talking about it with your friends and family and even your bishopric, blogging about the matter, spreading the word, spreading your opinion and desire is fine. That doesn't stop the discussion. In fact I think it would propel the discussions. But when a child throws a temper tantrum, not only is it not helping them get what they want, but it makes it hard to get anything done. They don't say in the letter that talking about this issue detracts from the helpful discussions, they are saying the tantrum acts of rebellion are. This quote is taken out of context. 

I think there is a general misunderstanding by Prudy Polly and several others that this letter was written in retaliation to their acts and ways of protest and their acts only. This issue has formed many groups of women that have threatened to picket and shout in protest. Just because you are a reverent hymn singer does not mean that there aren't other ways of protesting currently being done. Just because the church gave them an answer to their protests does not mean it is an answer to all women's protests. The church encourages us to talk about our opinions and beliefs political or otherwise outside of church.I do not think they were saying writing or sharing a blog post or having a discussion with your friends is detracting from the conversations.



On a last note, I'd like to point out that I think she is a touch over dramatic here. I understand she is passionate, I am a very passionate person, but Prudy Polly takes several things out of context and then rewords them (after or around the actual quotes) with more demeaning versions, and then calls the church rude and says she wishes they'd be kinder. If someone asks me to give their honest opinion about their works habits and I say "You have great energy and are good with customers but you tend to be disorganized and you're not very punctual." I feel I am being kind, yet firm, and telling the honest truth. But it would be easy for that employee to be offended and tell her friends that the only good things I had to say about her was that I liked her "energy" but she is super messy and late all the time. It is the employee’s choice to see it as an attack instead of a firm but honest and kind evaluation.

If you'd like to read about my other views on this movement here is a link to my post about my response to most of the arguments I have heard from LDS feminist activists.

Feminism by Angela Woodward on Words from a Black Heart

Here are some links to wonderful things and discussions that this movement has done for our church:

Portraits of LDS women leaders hang in Conference Center for first time
General Presidents Discuss Auxiliary Changes in New Video
What General Authorities Say About Their Wives




Addendum:


I feel that the word twisting and taking things out of context was abundant in Prudy Polly's blog post. I can't even go through all of the times I was like "when did they say that?" and then I referenced the letter to realize that the church said something entirely different, but Pridy had taken a small portion of a thought as a quote and putting with a different issue. I have been asked for several examples, I gave one in my post here is a second:


The idea that a majority of women in the church feel this opinion is extreme is not offensive (or at least it shouldn't be), but the phrases she has around the quote from the letter are no where to be seen in the actual letter and are Prudy Polly's own reworded interpretations.


I could probably go on about this for hours but that would be a massive waste of my time. I will not be giving more examples, and I will probably not be answering most of your emails.

Dear Military Wives

I would like to start this post off by saying that I think military wives are awesome. Often their husbands get a lot of thanks and praise for sacrificing for our country, but military wives sacrifice a lot too. They do not get the thanks that they deserve.

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These are my personal opinions, not those of my family members (or husband) and certainly not what I think everyone has to believe or they are unintelligent. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This is mine. If you choose to comment on this post with an opposing opinion I am okay with that. Isn't it great that we can all have different opinions on such an important issue and still be friends? I think so. If you choose to comment with anything that name calls or is derogatory towards me or people who disagree with you, I will delete the comment. 

Examples: 
I think that gay marriage is good because of.... (okay) 
I think that people who don't support gay marriage are homophobic (not okay)
People who support gay marriage obviously aren't mature enough to see... (not okay)

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On facebook and twitter I have seen this wave of posts about different things pertaining to being a military wife. I just wanted to express some of my thoughts on those posts. No, this isn't aimed at any one person. There are probably a dozen of my friends who will think I am aiming this at them because they have posted one or more of these things, but that is not true. Please do not take this personally. Every single meme I am about to respond to has been posted at least 2 times by different people on my facebook. I am going to respond to some of them as someone whose husband is not in the military, has never had the desire to be in the military and probably never will be.  

1-

 Yes, my life is stressed. I know you might be balancing all of the things I am with out your husband, while mine is present, but I am still stressed. Why do we have to make this a competition about who has more stress in their lives? We both stress about different things. You have things you stress about that I don't, and I am certain that you don't stress about other things that I do.

2-
 

 Why am I all of the sudden not allowed to miss my husband? I have seen memes similar to this posted as a comment on people's statuses when they say that they miss their husband when he is only gone for 1-8 days. I don't care if your husband is gone for 3 years and mine is gone for 3 minutes, I am allowed to miss him. I am allowed to write a sappy facebook status that says I miss him. You are too. Once again this is not a competition. Yes, I realize that it is not quite the same, but it doesn't matter. Do not shame other people or diminish their feelings because you think you are more entitled or have to deal with them more often than others.

3-

 So I used to date this guy who wanted to (and did) join the Marines. He used to get mad at me all of the time for this! I always said Army instead of Military. I think it is funny because I have a friend who is a Marine, a grand father and father in law who used to be in the Navy, two brother in laws in the Air Force and a brother in law in the Army Special Forces. Since marrying my husband I have been thoroughly educated on the differences, but I think it's funny because what seems to matter to most people is just high school politics. I have been told that the Marines are meat heads and also that they are the brave guys who actually get off their butts and fight. I have heard that the Air Force is the brains of the Military and also that they are posh pretty boys that get waited on and over paid. Now obviously I disagree with all of these assessments, but where I actually learned the difference was online and in books, not by branch members because the only things they seem to care about are the stupid clique labels and judgement slapped on each branch by other branches, and of course their branch is always the best. Can not all branches just be equal and get along? They all do important work and things. This whole getting offended because I mistook your husband for being a part of the wrong branch thing is silly. Don't expect people who have no family in the military to be as educated about it as you are.

4-

I'm sorry, I know your husband is away and that sucks. But are you telling me that just because he is deployed you wouldn't prefer him in Japan (where a war with the US is not currently happening) than Afghanistan? If you really don't care then you are right, I do not understand. I would prefer my husband be in the safest place possible if he were deployed. But what can you do? I don't understand. I am not a military wife. But please, just because I haven't gone through what you have, don't get angry with me for trying to see a bright side or for trying to make conversation. 

5- 

So pretty much all of these are conversation pieces. I talk about wars, government, foreign policies, and the president with my in-laws! It isn't uncommon for people to ask these questions. And if someone does right after they find out your husband is military just assume it's because people like to know how government workers feel about our government. (directed at #3) I know you don't LET your husband be in the military, but this is a compliment. I don't know how I could handle my husband being in the military. It's really hard. They are saying "wow, you are way stronger than I am, I could never do what you are doing!" Stop getting hung up on word choice and take the compliment. As far as 4, 5, 8, and 10 go those are all common questions people ask military wives. They don't realize it's a sore spot. They are just asking questions because they are curious. Tell them the truth, share about your hardships, educate them about your husband's career. If he is career and not just serving for a short time, tell your friend, they'd like to know. It's not a compliment but try not to get hung up on the specific word choice of a simple question.

All in all I think my main opinion here is that there is a difference in someone being insensitive and someone else being hyper-sensitive. I know it must be rough on you, but the rest of us get to have feelings and opinions about our lives too. If someone asks you a questions that strikes a nerve you don't have to answer it, or better answer it by educating the asker on why that question might be a sensitive topic. When people ask if your husband will be home in time for the birth, anniversary, baptism, ect. you wouldn't be offended if the answer was yes would you? I know when the answer is no it means you are thinking about something you'd prefer not to, but you can't expect everyone to tread on egg shells and not talk about politics around you. You are entitled to miss you husband and to stress, but so am I. Just because it is different doesn't mean your feelings are "better" or that mine should be diminished. 

Final Words ♥: I think being in the military and part of a military family is a huge sacrifice. Thank you to all of our service men and women and their families.

Feminism

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These are my personal opinions, not those of my family members (or husband) and certainly not what I think everyone has to believe or they are unintelligent. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This is mine. If you choose to comment on this post with an opposing opinion I am okay with that. Isn't it great that we can all have different opinions on such an important issue and still be friends? I think so. If you choose to comment with anything that name calls or is derogatory towards me or people who disagree with you, I will delete the comment. 
Examples: 
I think that gay marriage is good because of.... (okay) 
I think that people who don't support gay marriage are homophobic (not okay)
People who support gay marriage obviously aren't mature enough to see... (not okay)

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I support equality. I think that there are certain things that everyone has a right to regardless of gender, race, religion or sexual preferences. I believe that everyone has the right to a safe work environment, education, and the abilities to buy or rent property and space. The problem I have been having is that there are some things that people just decide that they have a right to, but they don't. For example I will play the marriage card. Marriage is a sacred institution. It is not an unalienable right. But this post is not about gay marriage. It's about feminism. 

I am a Mormon. I have found that I am kind of an all or nothing gal. When I was Wiccan, I studied it, I lived it and I loved it. I am still informed about other religions and scientific findings. One of my favorite things about being a Wiccan was that they believed that God used religion as a tool to get close to you. If you could not accept Him or get close to Him in one religion He would direct you to another. I still believe that. I needed to be a Nature Based Wiccan in order to build a relationship with someone until I could just say "okay" to everything, even if it doesn't make sense. I had to trust in Him that if He told me to do something that I didn't understand or didn't seem fair, I could just say "well you must see a bigger picture than I do" and just say yes. So when God told me I should join the LDS church again, I said a very confused, frustrated, relived, happy, and angry "yes".

Faith is a concept that I feel is lost on most people now a days. Everyone wants all of the answers and everything has to be fair and make sense. So if someone wants something in the church, or if they don't like or understand something, they leave. Because instead of believing in a God who might know something you don't, if it doesn't make sense to their mortal souls, then they leave. I think it's sad.

So back to my original statement. I am kind of an all or nothing gal. I became Mormon and still dream about a few more tattoos, but will never get them. I am trying to not swear so much, I am facing addictions that I didn't know I had until I tried to quit, I am working on all areas of following the rules and guidelines set by the LDS church. I believe that the prophets are called by God. I believe that they do their best to lead this church with integrity and inspiration.

So feminism in the church. I just have a few ttings to say about it. I am going to start by saying that during church is not the time or place to talk about what you don't like about the church. People go to church to feel the spirit and listen to the lord, not to hear about the petty politics of men. Facebook, forum sites, blogger, social media, parties, discussions with friends and family are all appropriate times to discuss what you don't like about the church. But inside Sunday School is not the time or place. It is super disrespectful. So please stop spouting your feminist woes while we are trying to worship and then getting upset when nobody wants to listen to you. You are being disrespectful. So you might not get a good response.

Now I am going to ten examples of LDS Feminist arguments (specifically pointing to sexism in the church and why women should get the priesthood) and just say my thoughts on them. 

1- Men are given more opportunities and more attention in the church. 

I disagree wholeheartedly. There are flaws with in the young men and women's programs. The young men and women have an equal ward budget (usually, but in cases where that isn't true, the young women usually have the higher budget). When it comes to the youth, men are allowed additional fundraisers only because they go through Boy Scouts of America (and this whole additional fundraisers thing is only an issue in Utah and some parts of Idaho). As for adults the Relief Society has a budget for their retreats and activities, while the Elders Quorum and High Priests don't. Wards that do have budgets for the adult men have much larger ones for the women. Now let's put budgets aside and looks at the fact that women have whole education weeks and speaker retreats and such exclusively for women. Men do not have the resources and opportunities in the church like that.


2- I was denied entrance into the Priesthood Session last stake conference because I am a woman.

Actually it's because you don't hold the priesthood. Also have you read the talks given at the priesthood sessions? Because they aren't a secret. Most of them consist of prophets railing on the men of the church for being idiots. Most of them say something along the lines of (and of coarse I am paraphrasing a tad) "Stop masturbating and watching porn. You are cheating on your wives. You are the one who will not be able to make it into the highest rank of the celestial kingdom, not her. Stop being stupid and start leading your wives and your families with integrity and dignity. Stop making her do all the work." So yeah, I don't really want sit in on that party. I'd much rather go to the General Women's Conferences and listen to them talk about working hard for your family, whether it be at work or home, and be given inspiring messages that uplift me.

3- People Judge me for wearing pants to church.

I am going to tell you about one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn about in life. I am just not that important to other people. When I started going back to church I was super self conscious. I was certain that every one there was judging me because I wore tank tops and lived with my husband one month before we were married and had tattoos and used to be this, that, or the other thing. I was certain people were judging the hem lines of my skirts and ostracizing me. Then one day it hit me like a ton bricks, no body cares about me that much. Nobody cares what my hem lines are like. Nobody there was thinking about what I wore yesterday or who I used to be. It's kind of silly for me to think that I am so special that in a room full of over 100 people that anyone is paying that much attention to me.

We see this issue come up all the time in high schools. Kids have a tons of friends who love them, but they feel that they are different and judged and they get depressed. I had a lot of people in high school that I knew that I couldn't imagine how they could have any kinds of problems at home. They were beautiful, got good grades, talented and always seemed sunny. Then one of those people whom I thought I knew (but apparently not that well) killed himself. Then I got to know my sister better. I realized that many people saw her the way I saw others in high school, even though she is one of the most conflicted and lonely stress cases I know. I also talked with a friend I have known since 8th grade. She opened up and told me that she was loving college because there are more people "like her" there. We continued into this thought and she said that she was always "judged and knew that people were always making fun of her" because she was a little overweight and masculine. She also had hobbies that were commonly perceived as masculine. I was really surprised by this. I was the queen of backstabbing and gossip in high school. I had something negative to say about everyone, yet I couldn't recall ever thinking something negative about her. In fact I couldn't recall hearing anyone say anything negative about her. She had tons of friends and everyone obsessed over how talented and sweet she was. 

I opened my eyes and realized that we look at everyone else and we notice the similarities. Then we look at ourselves and we notice all of the differences. Often those similarities and differences don't exist, or are things other people don't notice or care about, but we notice and care about them. Then we make ourselves feel ostracized and lonely based off of those insignificant differences. It doesn't stop after high school. 

I noticed all of the things I had done that didn't fit the Utah Mormon "norm" and felt judged for it. But the reality is the only person judging me, was me. I realized that I didn't know the lives or pasts of most of my ward members. I didn't know how they met their spouses or their living arrangements or sexual history. I also realized that I didn't care.  So where do I get off thinking that everyone else cares about my life more then I care about anyone else's? So instead of deciding that people have nothing better to talk, think or worry about than you wearing slacks to church, think again. We don't care. 

4- Heavenly Mother is out there, so why is it taboo to talk about her?

There is no doctrine on that. Heavenly Mother is not mentioned once in the Bible or Book of Mormon. A lot of people have had the idea that this is to protect her from the disrespect that others have given God, but that is not doctrine. Although it is an idea that I very well understand, and have only understood it for less than a year. 

I am married. When I talk to other people (be it family members, friends or otherwise) and they say something disrespectful or demeaning about me, then I am annoyed or irritated, but I am okay. But if someone says something rude or demeaning about my husband, they are going to wish in about 5 seconds that they had never met me. I know the same feelings are prevalent in my husband. I loved my husband before we were married. He was always my best friend. But literally the day after we got married everything was different. I wish I could explain it better, but I simply can not. You get married an all of the sudden everything changes.

I have been told this happens a few times in your life. When you get married, when you get sealed in the temple, and when you have children. I have only accomplished one of those things, but I can't imagine the other two not effecting me in a similar way. This feeling of not accepting disrespect for your spouse is usually very prevalent in healthy marriages. I understand why (if this is the case) God wouldn't want his wife at the forefront of religion. People make fun of God, take His name in vain, and disrespect Him every day. If I were Him I wouldn't put Her out there either. But this is just a musing. I have a few other ideas as to why we don't hear much about Her, but they are very LDS specific ideas, so I am not putting them on this public blog because I don't want to say anything that would reflect badly on the church. 

5- "Certainly Heavenly Mother is above disrespect"

I put that one in quotes, because it has been said to me exactly like that on 3 separate occasions. Has anyone here heard of the "Wrath of God"? Because He isn't exactly this super sunshiney, happy-go-lucky, giggly guy. God has feelings. And when we disrespect Him and turn away from Him, He doesn't appreciate it. If you read the bible God kills lots of people. I mean you can say that wars did a few times (although most of the ones in the bible were wars fought that could only have been won with a lot of God's help) but if you've ever heard of Noah and the Ark then you know that God sometimes just kills people because He is sick and tired of their crap.

There was a famous actress that swore all of the time. She was known for playing edgy, off the wall characters and most of her scripts swore more than they didn't. She was once on a talk show where Jay Leno asked her about her Christian roots. She said that she was very Christian and read the Bible as often as she remembered to and went to church when she could. He literally looked at her and said "that is so interesting" and chuckled. She then announced that while she does swear all up and down the stage she will not say "oh my God". If it is in the script she makes the writer omit it, or she wont take the part. She said "It is a commandment that we do not take the lord's name in vain, so I do not."

Apparently God cares about respect enough that He made it a commandment that you don't disrespect Him! God has feelings. And I can only imagine that Heavenly Mother does too. And I while I am sure that She could take the disrespect just as well as He could, I am also sure that She doesn't want to, and she understands Her husband's desire for Her not to. But this is something that one simply can not fully understand until you get married.

6- Thinking that it's wrong that women don't have the priesthood isn't an attack on the church or the women in it. 

If you listened to the LDS General Conference for October 2013 the prophets did address this issue. Most of them stated that they had all prayed and fasted about it and did not feel like it was what God wanted them to do. So if you believe that it would be super cool for women to have the priesthood or if you think that you would like to have the priesthood then that's fine. But if you think that our church is sexist because they are denying women the "right" to hold the priesthood then that is an attack. I will tell you why. 

First of all, you remember how in the first paragraph I talked about rights? I used the example of marriage, and I said I don't believe it's a right that everyone has just for being human. I feel the same way about the priesthood. The ability to hold the priesthood is  sacred and I do not believe that anyone has the right to hold it just for being human. It's like if I had a bowl of candy and a bunch of little kids wanted one, but I would only give it to half. Well those kids may be upset I didn't give them candy, but they don't have right to it. It's my candy and I can give it to whomever I please. 

Now back to the main point of this idea, I believe that this church is run by leaders called by God who are doing their best to lead this church with integrity through revelation from the Lord. They all said they fasted and prayed about this issue. They said God said no. So if you think that it is wrong women don't have the priesthood and this church is sexist then you either believe God is sexist or you believe our leaders are corrupt, sexist and power hungry and want to maintain authority over women. That is most definitely an attack to those of us who believe otherwise. 

I think it'd be pretty cool to ordain women to hold the priesthood but I look at it another way. I am one of the kids who didn't receive the candy. I don't know why and I am bummed about it sometimes, but I understand that the guy who has the candy has a lot more experience than me, and if he says I can't have any then I trust that he knows best. 

As for being an attack on the women in the church a lot of people feel like the church has created a mold that women need to fit into, and that the women that don't fit into this mold feel ostracized. I already talked a while ago about women feeling ostracized by little things like being a career woman and being more masculine. I am here to talk about that mold. It is offensive to me to say that I fit into a mold. I am really young and I do not believe that my life, my journey, my love for others and myself, my talents, my spirit, and who I have become and who I am becoming can fit inside of a mold. That is so demeaning. Think about it for a minute. A mold is something that is basic and used to create hundreds of copies of one thing. How would you like to be thought of as somebody who just came from the same mold as millions of other women? Someone who's whole life and person fits inside of a typical mold. I don't fit into that and I have never met anyone who does. Even "Utah Mormons" are all different. I don't fit into a mold, so telling me I do just because I want to be a stay at home mom one day while my husband works feels like an attack. 

7- Men are needed for more than procreation and the priesthood

This argument stems off of my idea that we are created differently. I believe God loves us the same, and we have the same amount of importance, but we are create differently. There is an idea that is pretty popular now a days that we all need to be independent. A lot of people think you need to be %100 stable and independent in order to be in a healthy relationship. That is something I disagree with wholeheartedly. This idea of independence is something that the world has fostered. God says "Form families, couples, wards, communities, and homes. Build relationships. Lean on each other." For this purpose I believe God created men and women with different chemicals, body functions, roles, responsibilities and tendencies so that they complement each other. He created us differently so that we had to lean on each other to create a family and home. 

This is usually argued by people saying "men are needed for more than procreation and the priesthood." I would like to say that I feel people get need and want mixed up. When you need something it means that without it there are things you could not possibly do. I want my husband for emotional and financial support. I want my husband because he is my best friend. I want my husband to make me laugh and happy. I want my husband for amazing snuggles and great dates. I love my husband a lot. But I want him for those things. If I had never met Matt I was figuring all of that stuff out on my own. I do not need him for any of it. But without a man, I can not have children or have the priesthood in my home. I know I could have sons that hold the priesthood, but I can not have sons without a man.


8- Heavenly Mother is a Goddess, so we should be able to pray to her just like God

That is wrong. Gordon B. Hinkley gave an awesome talk on this where he says in it:

"... in light of the instruction we have received from the Lord Himself, I regard it as inappropriate for anyone in the Church to pray to our Mother in Heaven. The Lord Jesus Christ set the pattern for our prayers. In the Sermon on the Mount, He declared 'After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.’ (Matt 6:9)" 

He continues in the talk later saying: 
“I have looked in vain for any instance where a President of the Church, from Joseph Smith to Ezra Taft Benson, has offered a prayer to ‘our Mother in Heaven.’ I suppose those who use this expression and who try to further its use are well-meaning, but they are misguided. The fact that we do not pray to our Mother in Heaven in no way belittles or denigrates her... I may add that none of us can add to or diminish the glory of Her of whom we have no revealed knowledge." (link to this talk below)

So I guess if you feel like you know better than the prophet of the church then go right ahead. But once again realize that for those of us who are fiercely loyal to our faith you are deciding you know better than to follow this council which in our eyes comes from God. So to some of us over here it looks like you are saying you know better than God. I am not saying I think you are going to Hell because you think you are above God. I think just like Gordon B Hinkley said you have good intentions, but you are misguided.


9- I just don't understand why we can be given concrete answers as to why we can't have the priesthood. Obviously the vagueness is a sign of our oppression. 

I am told that we are given many of these answers in the temple. So wait I guess. But if you aren't looking for them, you won't find them. If you have decided that you are right and your heart is not open for guidance on the subject, then you wont perceive the answers as answers, and you wont get the guidance you need. This goes for anything in life. If you have decided something and refuse to change your opinion on it what so ever, then you have hardened your heart in regards to that subject. Just like Laman and Lemuel had angels come and tell them they were wrong and they needed to follow Nephi, they swiftly forgot because when you harden your heart on something not even God can get through to you. And besides if you truly believe that our leaders are corrupt then you can't worthily go to the temple anyways. So I guess you are out of luck. 

10- Women in the church are being oppressed whether they like to believe it or not

I would like to take a minute here to define the word Oppressed. In the Oxford dictionary it defines oppression as "prolonged cruel or unjust treatment or control" I looked up this word 6 times. All 6 of those definitions used the word cruel and 5 of them used the word unjust. So I continued with
this definition hunt to find what constitutes just behavior (because when I searched unjust it only said "behavior that is not seen as just"). Just behavior was defined as "treatment deserved or
appropriate in the circumstances"  Does it say anything about stuff being "fair"? No. It doesn't. Justice isn't always fair. And perhaps under our human circumstances it is in fact just that women do not have the priesthood. But because we are incapable of seeing the bigger picture, we have to trust God and our leaders. 

In addition to that I have never seen or heard of men being cruel to women in the church. Cruel being defined as "willfully causing pain or suffering to others feeling no concern about it" I personally have not had anyone emotionally or physically be cruel to me in this church while feeling no emotion about it. I can't imagine a bishop would not feel emotion in a disciplinary council, or while listening to anyone pour out their sorrows and confess all their sins, nor when taking disciplinary action. So stop with the oppression stuff okay? Slaves were oppressed. Jews during World War 2 were oppressed. Women in the church? Not so much. 

If you feel like women in the church are treated unfairly, then that's up to you. You could instead choose to trust in someone who might know more than you do and see a bigger picture. But if instead you feel like women are entitled to the priesthood and it is unfair for them not to have it. Go for it. But just know that we are not being oppressed. 

So those are my top 10 issues with LDS Feminism. I would like to say that I love my religion, my family and my life. I have a great deal of respect for people who stand up for and defend what they believe is true. I feel like Christians, men, and families are being attacked. I am fine with people standing up for their beliefs, but I am going to stand up for mine too. I am proud to be a woman but I do not feel I am entitled to anything more than I have. I understand that there are some people who think I am incapable of things because I am a women, but I know that there are also people who believe the same of Matt because he is a man.  I have advantages that men will never have and I choose to love myself and the things that I have because I am a women, than lament the things that I do not because I am not a man.


RELATED RESOURCES:

This is the article I mentioned when it comes to praying to heavenly mother.
Daughters of God by Gordon B. Hinkley 

October 2013 LDS General Conference Talks
Oxford Online Dictionary
Get off the Hill