Finding Faith

I have had a lot of people ask me about my journey to finding religion. The thing is I haven't really found it yet. I pray but I am not comfortable. I read but I am not sure. A lot of my friends joke around calling my religion "the Religion of Angela". It combines several religions using Wicca as the base and stemming off into Presbyterian, Catholicism and Buddhism.

What did it take me to find faith? Everything. It took me going into a place that I didn't want to be in to realize that there even was an anything after this life. It took courage and a lot of practice. It took many trails as well. It semt that the more I prayed the worse things went. But if we don't have a storm then the sun wont mean anything to us.

Religion is personal. People react differently when it comes to faith. I have friends that hate how everyone always invites them to church and mutual and they just don't want to go. I on the other hand have gotten many invites to church and mutual and I love going most of the time. It tells me that other people care. I personally believe that it's not what you believe, but more that you do believe. So I love seeing people's commitment to their religion and trying to share the joys that their faith has brought them with me.

If someone wants to find faith the hardest thing to do is experiment. Read, pray, and fast. Fast, read, and pray. You just have too. What do you read though? This is the hardest part in my opinion. The Bible? Well that is a sure fire start. But what else. Well the Book of Mormon is a good place to find out about the LDS religion's book. Don't ever read a book about a book though. Don't read a book on the Mormon beliefs that wasn't written by a current and faithful member. The same goes for any churches especially Pagan sects.

In the end religion is something you have to find within yourself. Something you have to humble yourself and focus on for a while in order to truly get it. Something you must trust your instincts on and not hold back with. Experience everything and try everything out. When I was going through my process I tried rituals, I tried prayers, I tried certain meals too. I didn't like some of them and some of them I have adopted for my own, and others I have kept unchanged.

In the end I haven't exactly become comfortable with anything quit yet but I have told my parents my difference in religion, I have told many people of my quest, and I am no longer ashamed of my lack of faith in the Mormon church. (not a blow to any of the Mormons out there I swear! I love the Mormon faith, I believe some of what they do as well!)

I will now share a few brief words of my faith. I believe in God and Goddess as equal partners in creation. I believe that they have light and dark aspects, playing good and evil at once in order to create the opposition that is so vital in our lives. I believe that the Goddess and God live on our Earth through nature. I believe that when we die we are evaluated and then either sent back to earth (but only as a human) to learn what we still need to know, or moved on in the spirit world to progress and create worlds of our own. That (in my heart) is why we only use a small portion of our brain, we are storing what we obtained from past lives. I believe that bond last in heaven, not necessarily marriages and families, but those things on earth do create bonds that last in the after life. I believe that the only way to stop progression on earth and in the spirit world as well is to end your earth life by your own hand. That is the difference between heaven and hell to me.

These are a few basic things that I feel are true for me. I respect all religions though. I love to learn about them and attend them and I don't hate any religion at all. I just love religion and I encourage everyone to find what they truly believe in themselves.