Men and Women

Men and women are different. I think it is pretty obvious that God made us to compliment each other. It says in the Bible that God made Adam a "help meet". If you do research on the what it actually means to be a help meet, it doesn't mean someone to do the less important chores that the man can't be bothered with. It means to rescue, to save, to be strong, to support, and to encourage someone. Without a help meet (Eve) Adam could have done nothing. 

Women and men have differences that extends beyond their body parts. Men have tendencies to do things most women do not. Women also have tendencies to do and feel things men do not. Men tend to be more logical and primitive. Women tend to be more nurturing, emotional and complex. Women tend to be better at critical thinking than men, but men tend to be more decisive and less afraid to make "big moves" than women. Now by saying this I am not saying "because women are usually less decisive, women should not be decisive and if you are you need to 'fix' that". I am saying that these differences are very common, and while not everyone has the tendencies or habits that go along with their gender role, most people do.

Feminists say that there are more male CEOs than female, and that is true. But I personally do not believe it is because women are afraid to get jobs or grow up believing they can't. I think it is because the average CEO is 48 years old, and they have been working at their companies for more than a few years. If you'd like to become a CEO you either have to dedicate your life to a company, or start your own. But when a man and a woman have children, most of the time the woman stays at home to take care of her child. And I think that is awesome. I truly believe there is nothing more important than the work of a stay at home parent, to raise and influence the next generation. I do not believe that this happens because the women are told they can't make it in the work force but because most women have the tendency to nurture, and choose to work in the home.

I am not saying there is no gender inequality, but I do think there is less than what people would like to believe. I also believe that a lot of the inequality is driven by women, not men. Women are hyper sexualized in the media, but what are men? Women are made to look like objects of lust while men look like bumbling idiots. Seriously, I can think of more TV shows that feature strong female characters than male ones. All of the ones I have seen recently make the men look like pigs, slobs, horn dogs, and over all idiots. I can literally think of one show with one male lead (of the three male leads it has) that doesn't look like a total buffoon. I can however list several with strong female leads (the closer/major crimes, the good wife, raising hope, pretty little liars, once upon a time, new girl, suburgatory, ect). 

On top of that if we'd like advertising like this to stop:

We need to stop buying things like this, and stop making the beaches look like this: 

People complain all of the time that Victoria Secret makes underwear to sexual and objectifies women, but we still shop there don't we? (I don't because I don't have $80 for a bra, but you know what I mean)

Attacking the stay at home mother is not the way to create equality. Bringing down men is not the way to create equality. The way to create equality is to do whatever your heart and mind wants to do. If you have to work harder than you think a man would to prove you can do his job, then work harder. If you have to do extra to get the same amount of appreciation as someone else, then do more. Work hard every single day. Be an example to others that we can do things, and make a difference.

Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world" He didn't say burn your bra and tell men to screw themselves. I would like to see a world where people mind their own business. I'd like to see world where if a majority of women want to stay at home and raise children they can. I'd like to see a world where someone can believe in Jesus Christ and God the Father without being called idealistic children. I'd like to see a world where you can be a proud of yourself regardless of race or gender.  

So mind your own business. Believe what you'd like, support who you'd like, love who you'd like, be whoever you'd like to be (as long as it hurts no one and is a law abiding citizen) and leave other people alone! I am proud of myself, not because I am a white Christian woman, but because I have overcome trials that people of all ages, genders and races endure, and I came out on top. 

The way to really make a difference is to stop victimizing yourself for being a minority. We are ALL minorities. I am a woman, I am Christian, I am a republican. I work hard for everything I have. Just because you are a white straight male doesn't mean you don't work hard to earn what you have. We all have trials and things that work against us. We all endure being judged and harassed. If you didn't get the job instead of deciding the man interviewing you is a sexist pig, consider that there may have been a better qualified applicant, or that you just weren't what they were looking for. Make a difference by using words that uplift, encourage and support people! I love this campaign (commercial below) but I do feel that many men are also spoken to and put down with demeaning words. 

In conclusion I am standing by my opinion that men and women were created equally, but different. The work done inside the home is super important and just as important as that done in the work force. Women need to celebrate the things that make them different from men instead of bemoaning them. I believe that because women are constantly complaining about what men have that they don't, they are putting down and demeaning what they have that men don't. I believe that with hard work and faith we can do anything. But supporting each other in doing whatever it is we do is important, whether you'd like to do it or see it as merit worthy or not. 

RESOURCES:

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The Real Meaning of the Term "Help Meet" 

Do Men Really Make More Money Than Women?
No, Women don't make less money than Men
Ban Bossy Campaign 

Women

I have been thinking a lot lately about all of the women who have inspired me. I have had the good fortune of meeting some really awesome people! I have met a lot of really great mothers who have taught me so much about myself and about life. I guess I just wanted to thank them, and share a little about what I have learned from these amazing women, especially since Mother's Day is coming soon!


1- My Big Sister JoAnn

My sister JoAnn and I are so different and similar at the same time that it gives me headaches thinking about it. I love to relax and unwind, I don't care about what I eat at all and I love tv. JoAnn on the other hand watches what she eats, never watches tv (just the occasional family movie night) and she loves to stay busy and be productive even if it drives her crazy sometimes. I think she is an amazing wife and mother but I am certain that when I have kids things will be so different.

Now with that being said, I think she is an absolutely amazing mom. She works harder every day than I have in my entire life. Her four boys are smarter than any other kids I have ever met at their age. I also love how when you talk to them they are close to each other, they love each other, they are excited to grow up, and they know that their parents love them so much. I can not say that about most of the kids I know these days.

What I admire the most about my big sister is she is not afraid to be wrong. I feel like people now a days have to be right all the time. Especially in my family, we all (myself included) have this thing where we are always on the defense. We are constantly defending ourselves even when no one is disagreeing with us. If someone brings up a hard cold fact that disputes an opinion or a guess, instead of taking it in we go into denial mode. I am working hard to move away from that, although I slip right back into it all the time. Somehow JoAnn has managed to rise above that. She doesn't have the attitude that she can do no wrong. She tries to outwardly express her emotions and say sorry for her mistakes. She doesn't see apologizing to her 8 year old for yelling at him as a weakness, and it's not.

A really long time ago my sister told me that she never wanted to be the type of parent who couldn't apologize to her kids. And she's not. She has shown me something very important. The world seems to think apologizing is a weakness, but it's not. Apologizing is a massive strength. It strengthens families, friendships and relationships. It strengthens homes and marriages. It rebuilds broken bridges. How can something that provides so much strength be a weakness? It just simply isn't.


2- My Ex Boyfriend's Mother Mandy

Mandy is awesome. I dated this guy in high school for like 2 seconds and even though I haven't had any communication with him in years his mom came to my wedding. Mandy taught me something that I love, which is that you don't have to slow down.

This woman runs marathons, works, and is a great mother to boot! I got to know both of her kids pretty well and they are both fantastic. She has this light and energy that just emits from her and her smile. When you walk into her home you can feel the laughter. I love that! I have felt peace and love in homes before, but I sure hope that my home is one that you can feel laughter in. She has always been nonjudgmental, open and accepting and just an overall great example in my life.


3- My Mother in Law Jean

I don't even know where to begin with this woman. Her whole life story is seriously an inspiration. I always said I wanted to marry a guy who loves, respects, and has a good relationship with his mother, and boy did I ever. When Matt and I got engaged I was intimidated by the amount of respect and love he had for his mother. I felt like I could never live up to her! Her cooking, her work ethic, her humility and ability to just love and keep loving no matter what. I really look up to my mother in law.

Like I said I don't even know where to being with her. I guess the number one thing that I admire most about my mother in law is how much she loves and cherishes her family. She is so proud of her 4 boys. She worked so hard to raise them and teach them, she home schooled them while working a million jobs. She moved them out to Utah so they could have their father in their lives. This woman would do anything for family. I love that.

The first time I ever entered my mother in laws home was something I will never forget. The air wraps you in a warm hug. Everything there smelled like love and tasted like peace. I spent most of my time there wondering how she got everything to feel like this. When we left I told Matt that my life's mission is to make our home feel at least something like that.

One of my favorite things about my mother in law is how graceful she is. She always says that she "earned" every single one of her gray hairs. I love that! She is absolutely stunning. The first time I met her Matt and I had only known each other for not even 2 weeks. It was awkward for me because he didn't tell me she was coming over, we were just watching netflix and he said "Oh yeah and my mom is coming over any time now." Needless to say I was annoyed by my lack of preparedness. When we she left I spent some time thinking about how beautiful she was. I hope that I can age even a little bit as gracefully as she has. She just gets that aging is normal, and doesn't fight it. I know so many women who are 50+ years old and they dress like they are 16, and it kind of drives me crazy! But not Jean. I am sure a lot of her current wisdom and grace has to do with those things that just "come with age". Either way I love my mother in law, and her priorities in life are an inspiration to me every day.


4- My Best Friend's Grandmother Darrellyn

I believe that this woman embodies Christ like love. I am going to start by saying that I have known my best friend (and her grandmother) since 7th grade. During jr high and high school I took a spiritual journey in my life and I wasn't a picture perfect influence. Darrellyn put up with me anyways. I never felt like she liked me a whole lot when I was a kid (although that could have been my own musings and insecurities coming out), but she knew my friend and I were close, so she put up with me, which was a lot to ask. But all the while I have always admired her and I have learned so much from this woman.

Christ doesn't give up on us. When the beggar and the sinner came to his door, Christ let them in. Christ opened His arms to those others would have shut out. Darrellyn does the same for her children. We can't control what our kids do when they grow up. I believe that the reason Darrellyn has the children that she does (all of them are adults now of course) is because they need her to love them. They need her to open her arms and welcome them in even when others would shut them out. And even though it is hard, she does. This woman has changed the way that I look at parenting and love.


I am so lucky to have these four amazing women in my life and to know all of them. I am so glad God gave me such great examples and influences to teach me the true meaning of love, laughter and beauty.