Swear Words

 Dictionary definition of swearing (yes I only posted the definition that is relevant):

To use profane or offensive language

          The way I see it is there are some words that world has deemed profane and offensive. When you look into the history of some of these words they really aren’t that bad, and there modern meanings aren’t too far off from what they used to. Ship High In Transit was written on bags of manure when being shipped overseas. If the dry pellets were on the floor they’d get wet and soggy and smell like…. Well shit ;) haha. Fornication Under Consent of the King. Prostitution was illegal without a license. And the only women who were licensed were those who were seeing the king himself. It was like calling someone a hooker, a prostitute, well back then you called them a fuck. It all has to do with the same thing right?

            I don’t mind swear words as long as they aren't overused. Once in a while I’ll get a little high on life and use one or two more than usual, and sometimes I am just really angry and I use a couple extra. But I hate those losers who say things like “Then mother flipping flippers need to get the flip out of my flippin neighborhood!” (I censored that just for you ;] ) All I can think is, “Excuse me have you ever heard of a dictionary? When people say “Go F’ yourself” I want to say “You do realize you just told me to masturbate right? Just think about that.” But all in all I don’t mind swearing. But there are some words that I find offensive. I do not like using them. Every time I think about saying them around someone else I am immediately on the defense and you can believe that there is a train wreck of emotions happening inside of my head.

11-      The “F” word

Whenever some says feelings, I know it’s no good. These things seem to get in the way of a lot of things in my life. I don’t like them.

22-      The “M” word

Waking up is one of the worst things in the world. And until I meet someone wonderful who will share this misery with me and make it a little less awful, Morning is right out of my ‘okay-words list’

33-      The “B” word

When has the word break ever been a good thing? Break means to stop, end, or destroy something. You can break a bone, break up, break a promise, take a break (even at work I seriously don’t like taking a break). Except for when you are breaking a leg on stage the word break is one that I prefer not to hear.

Those are the three big ones. I am so sorry that all of you had to be subjected to such language, but you knew what this was about when you began didn’t you?

Final Words <3 What’s your personal swear word?  

The Big Secret

Well actually it’s not that big of a secret. I have told a lot of my friends and three of my family members what I've been up to. The ones that I didn't tell have guessed what I've been doing. Yes my friends I have been taking LDS missionary lessons. Well not really lessons, I already know all of the stories. It’s been more of a Q&A. I say “this is what I don’t believe” and they say “this is why it is the way it is.”

Throughout this last month and a half of these lessons I have come to realize one thing. I am not Mormon. I found that with almost every single aspect of it I was telling myself I could just believe it and have faith even though it didn't make any sense at all. And I can do that in religion with a thing or two, but I simply can’t do it for all aspects. I would pray and cry asking God to just tell me it was all true. But he didn't  I didn't feel peace or light or happiness, I felt confusion and pressure and sickness.

Then I went on a little walk around the Provo River. I saw orange leaves and moving grass and ducks. It was stunning. Then I prayed. And I felt so much power and peace when I prayed and instead of asking “is this true?” I asked “Where do I belong? Where do you want me to be so that I can learn what I need from this life? Was I already there before this LDS endeavor?” And I felt a warm peace in my heart and I opened my eyes and I saw three butterflies.

I don’t know why God wants me to be a Nature Based Wiccan. I don’t know why he can’t give me a testimony of the Mormon Church but I do know that he wants me where I am. Whether it be because I can’t handle the whole truth, or because I need this religion to learn what I need to for this life, or because maybe I actually have the true religion. I don’t care what his reasoning is, this is where he wants me to be and this is where I am.

Final Words <3 : Accept people from all religions, and love them, and trust that God has a plan for them even if you don’t understand it.