Saying Goodbye

This summer a lot of incredible and young people have lost or taken their lives. I know a lot of my friends have been having a hard time. The count simply keeps rising and I am loosing track. A lot of these people I know but I was never close to them. So I guess I have been a little numb to their loss. But there are two who have really hit me hard. Two with completely different lives and attitudes who have made me feel a little emptier. So I want to say Goodbye.

Cory Cloward was a friend of mine at Mapleton Jr. High. He was bold, rude, and funny. He didn’t care about anything, but he had a big heart and under his hard exterior was someone who cared about everyone who was close to him. We had some tender moments Cory and I. He was a pretty good friend of mine. He did give me a few pep talks and he also hooked me up with a few people when I was down. Haha he was my wingman and my chauffeur. I remember smoking cigarettes at the park with him after parties laughing as hard as we could about almost nothing. I remember spirit club in jr. high and all of the good times we had together there. Once we hit high school, we parted. But for most of Sophomore Year he and I attended every single choir concert from our old jr. high and after every single one of them we would drive around for hours talking and having a good time.

I was at school when my friend Shania called me to tell me he had left us by his own choice. At first I thought it was a joke, I thought I had heard wrong. Then I got angry. He was an asshole all the way up until his death. Then I realized how much I loved that asshole and how I would never see him again. The truth of the matter was I hadn’t seen him for about a year at that point and I would probably never see him again anyways, but I couldn’t now. And there was a hole. And I had to work for the funeral, and I didn’t get to say goodbye or mourn with my old friends who were there for each other. And I felt alone and empty. So one day I went there alone and I cried for barely any time at all and then I felt a little peace. Cory is not gone. He is just going onto the next thing.

Sometimes I forget he’s gone. I really feel like he is just waiting around the corner to jump out and say “Got you!” haha he was that kind of guy, always having the last laugh, and always laughing. He will be missed. Rest in peace Cory, I will see you again.

The second person that I really must say goodbye to is Mike Creviston. I met Mike my sophomore year of high school in Spanish. I dropped out of Spanish half way through the year, but mike is the only reason I didn’t fail the first two terms. He was always thinking of me and trying to help me out and make sure I understood. And I am far too prideful to ask for help but Mike noticed I was struggling and so he extended a hand to help me. And although we didn’t have a single class together for the rest of my high school career he would say high to me in the halls all the time. We had several mutual friends so we often saw each other and every time we did he’d give me a hug and say something like “Hey Angie! I haven’t seen you in a long time, what’s been going on?” And he was so genuine. He really cared about everyone and how they were doing.

Then on Sunday he decided he needed to leave us. And now many of us feel like our ray of sunshine is missing. I have yet to meet someone who saw it coming, but all of us feel like we should have known. Mike was always asking how you are, is everything okay, can I help? Well Mike I wish you’d told us you weren’t okay and how we could have helped because there were so many of us who wanted to. Rest in Peace Mike. I know that you too are going on to the next big thing. I will see you again.

Goodbyes can be hard but my mom has always told me that when people die they aren’t gone. They are just moving on. They are still in our hearts and our minds and they may even be here guiding us towards something better. But they are somewhere else; moving on to do whatever it is God needs of them. And one day we will see these two great spirits again. So it’s not really goodbye is it?

<3 Final Words: Until we meet again, I will always have you in my heart Cory and Mike

Cory Cloward                                Mike Creviston